Recognizing Your Fears

Fear EFT

In Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), partners often fall into patterns of a pursuer and a withdrawer. Both typically act in ways they think will help their relationship, but this typically backfires. The withdrawer often fears if they don’t retreat, there will be arguments, hurt feelings, or nothing positive accomplished. The pursuer typically feels a need […]

Are You Strong Enough to Address Your Feelings?

Strong

Many male clients prefer to see a male counselor. As a male, I can relate to not wanting to address feelings and many male (and some female) clients like this. I can relate to sweeping things under the rug or moving on without dwelling on the past. I was raised to deal with problems all […]

Giving Your Mixed Agenda Partner Space

Mixed agenda couple

Couples often come to counseling with mixed agendas. Working through this process is often called discernment counseling. While schools and even some of the most advanced training like the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) tends to focus almost exclusively on the assumption that the couple wants to stay together, that is not always […]

The Integration of the Mind and Body in Couples Counseling

somatic expeiencing

I’ll start by saying the reality that we (most people) often talk about the mind and body as separate entities is an issue. No one talks about their arm and their body as if they are two different things. The mind is part of the body and the body is of course heavily influenced by […]