Reasons Couples Get Divorced

Couple hugging

Once upon a time when divorce was rare, most people were driven to divorce by one of the “Triple A” problems: Affairs, Addictions, or Abuse. Divorce meant someone was chronically cheating, repeatedly drunk, or physically violent. Desertion was the fourth reason for divorce in 19th century America when husbands would go west and disappear. Affairs, […]

Marriage isn’t Over Until it’s Over

Marriage and divorce

It’s commonly believed that when people enter the legal divorce process, they have come to accept that divorce is inevitable. Even therapists and lawyers tend to assume that once divorce papers are filed, ambivalence about divorcing is over. The only task ahead is to help couples have a constructive end to their marriage.  Recent research […]

Who to Talk to and Not Talk to Regarding a Potential Divorce

Divorce

We’ve seen people in your shoes—a spouse announces they are leaning toward wanting a divorce—and makes a bunch of mistakes when it comes to talking with others. One mistake is to not tell anyone, often out of shame or to avoid recognizing the threat as real. The result is isolation and stewing in one’s juices. […]

Choosing Between a 50 and 75-Minute Appointment

Time in relationships

Sometimes people get overwhelmed with the number of appointment types Cardinal Point has to offer. This is understandable, especially if you have never done counseling. I have found that intake sessions need 85 minutes to be most successful. Beyond that, it largely depends on you. Below are some considerations when choosing an appointment time. Choosing […]

Why I Take Sides

Taking sides

Many people come to couples counseling looking for a neutral third party. Many people leave couples counseling when they think the therapist is more on one person’s “side” than another. I am on the side of your relationship. The relationship is the client, not you or your partner. I think the very concept of “sides” […]