Discernment

Couples on the Brink of Divorce

If you or your spouse (or lifetime committed partner) are considering divorce or separation but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a difficult spot. The good news is that Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage or relationship.

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship–and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help–and the other is “leaning in”–that is, interested in doing what it takes to rebuild the marriage.

The goal is for you to gain confidence about a direction based on an improved understanding of your relationship and its possibilities.


The goal is not to solve your marital problems but to see if they are solvable (or manageable). You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment.

You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places. Couples can choose one of three paths to take. Complete the quiz to see what may be the most appropriate path for you.

Choose the statement below that best describes your situation:
I’m done with this marriage; it’s too late now even if my spouse were to make major changes
I have mixed feelings about the divorce; sometimes I think it’s a good idea and sometimes I am not sure.
I would consider reconciling if my spouse got serious about making major changes.
I don’t want this divorce, and I would work hard to get us back together.

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Next Steps
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