A couple is often happiest right before marriage. The infatuation phase has often not worn off yet. So why in the world would such a couple need counseling? Pre-marriage or engagement counseling is usually preventative and can help keep the relationship strong for years to come. It’s also important for engaged couples to realize that relationships go through phases. Each phase has pros and cons, but too many couples have an incorrect belief that all will be happily every after or not take work.
Some goals of pre-marriage, engagement counseling, or newlywed counseling:
While particular goals are up to you, some common goals include those below.
- Developing and discussing shared life goals
- Understanding negative communication patterns and what patterns you have already developed
- Learning proven communication strategies
- Understanding if there are any unmet needs related to each person’s family of origin
- Discussing potential expected roles related to aspects like gender, age, or career
- Appreciating your strengths and weaknesses
- Understanding how cultural differences may impact your marriage
- Discussing expectations and thoughts regarding sex
- Coming to a clear understanding of what would constitute being unfaithful (not as black and white as it used to be)
- Openly discussing fears
- Discussing if or how religion or spirituality will factor into your marriage
- Talking through plans or thoughts about having kids
- Discussing your future financial goals
- Communicating and understanding expectations for managing budgets and finances
- Expectations for how you will spend your time once married (how much with individual friends, mutual friends, together, with family, etc.)
- Where you plan to live in the short and long term
- Talking through concerns about having a wedding
- Discuss what infidelity means to you
- How will your career goals impact your relationship, and if you have kids, how will they be raised?
- Many more…
Also, check out some of the benefits of secular pre-marriage counseling and Christian pre-marriage counseling.
It is Normal to Have Questions or Doubts About Marriage
Marriage is a big step. How long you have been together and your life circumstances can make marriage a more significant step for some than others. Some are young and getting married for the first time. Some have been divorced, and there may be blended family concerns. Some couples have adapted to living together, while others will be living with a partner for the first time.
Some couples have last-minute doubts about spending the rest of their lives with someone else. It is normal to have a great relationship and then suddenly question it right before a wedding. It is normal to have questions about what marriage may be like and what typical couples go through. These concerns can be discussed in a safe pre-marriage counseling environment (at least all of the problems you are comfortable discussing).
Questions for Pre-Marriage Counseling
That may be the best option for you. Many religious organizations offer or even require some form of counseling through their organization. You may decide this is affordable (or free) and more than sufficient. On the other hand, you may choose to talk more elsewhere about more secular topics. For example, you may not be comfortable talking about your sex life with the clergy. Your religious counseling may need to be supplemented by a licensed counselor to help you work through associated anxiety. Many religious organizations say they offer “pre-marriage counseling”, and while what they offer may be valuable, it’s not legal to call it counseling unless they are licensed counselors. Extending your counseling outside a religious organization may also appeal to you to get another perspective.
Absolutely. If you aren’t religious or prefer to leave religion out of counseling, that is perfectly fine. We have curriculum from Prepare and Enrich that can either be Christian based or secular.
No one has to discuss anything they aren’t comfortable sharing. Hopefully, we will develop a healthy therapeutic relationship where no topic related to your marriage feels uncomfortable or off-limits.
We try to never take sides, except for the side of the relationship. That said, many men have said they prefer to work with a male premarital counselor.
The office is located right off I-270, near Tuttle Mall in Dublin, Ohio. It is a short drive from Hilliard, Upper Arlington, Worthington, Westerville, New Albany, Powell, or Columbus, Ohio. Telehealth is available for anyone who is in Ohio during the videoconference.
Yes. You will not be advised what you should do from a religious perspective, but you can talk about how your beliefs may impact your marriage.
That doesn’t happen often, but it is a possibility. Wouldn’t you rather know ahead of time that you perhaps need more time to think things through or want to achieve specific goals first? But, of course, this decision is ultimately up to you, and you won’t be persuaded either way. However, the question could come up in pre-marriage counseling for you to discuss with your partner.
Feel free to contact us. Most questions about the process can be answered via email, phone or at a pre-marriage counseling blog.
Thanks to telehealth (videoconference, AKA zoom), premarital counseling is available here to anyone residing in Ohio during the time of the appointment. The office is also located in Columbus, Ohio (technically Dublin, OH) to make in-person visits available. The office is near Dublin OH, Marysville, Plain City, Upper Arlington, Hilliard, Westerville, New Albany, and Worthington.
Yes, if that is what you desire. This can vary based on the beliefs of clients. You may just want to talk briefly about how your religion will impact your marriage, or you may want a much more involved focus on Christianity and marriage. Regardless, you will not be judged for your personal beliefs but you can have the opportunity to discuss how you want your marriage to reflect those beliefs.
Yes, you can get online premarital therapy in Columbus Ohio, or anywhere in Ohio provided that you are in the state for the appointment. Online therapy is convenient for many couples.
You can call 614.327.1600 or contact us. You can also view the site’s main frequently asked questions page for more general questions.
You Can Grow In Your Relationship
Pre marriage couples therapy is appropriate for couples who want preventative discussion or need help navigating some concerns. It is normal to have struggles in any relationship, and getting on top of current or potential marriage concerns through couples counseling can be a very positive step.
How do we Proceed?
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