Disagreements About Money
Managing Finances Can Be Difficult
Money is among the most significant sources of fights between couples. Finances can be a very challenging topic for couples to discuss. A newly married couple that has gotten along tremendously but suddenly finds itself sharing finances can have a whole new set of problems. For those engaged, discussing finances in advance can save a lot of heartache. There can be differences in how each views saving and spending and they can have different financial priorities. Financial counseling is not a substitute for a financial planner (but a referral may be made to a financial planner). We will not discuss specifically how to invest your money or recommend any investment products but can focus more on understanding each other's financial priorities based on your values and upbringing. We are not a substitute for a financial planner. Some couples argue over $20 purchases if they don't discuss them together first. Others argue more about more significant priorities like saving for college or retirement. Some couples keep finances separate, some together, and some use a mixture. Money can be a sensitive topic for just about any couple—career goals factor in, as well as a desire for work-life balance. Likewise, childcare considerations can relate to money and whether one or both partners stay home if kids are involved. Couples may need to have open discussions about retirement counseling. Finances can be tied to core values. Talking about money should not be shameful or mean someone is greedy or materialistic. Financial resources can bring security, peace, independence, pleasure, status, and stress. While one parent staying at home to take care of kids is very admirable, sometimes it makes sense for that person to keep working on training and other job skills just in case things go bad with the relationship. Understanding what money means to a partner as related to their goals and values can be an essential step toward increasing relationship satisfaction. Discussing finances at a high level is crucial in any relationship or marriage counseling program and can help strengthen your relationship.
Sharing Money is Difficult
You are two different people. You have different wants, needs, and goals. Suddenly you have one bank account, and your partner’s spending habits are likely to cause distress. Spending habits could cause disagreement with separate accounts as well. Sometimes it’s about more than just a purchase but whether it aligns with what you have or have not talked about wanting for your relationship or family. Money issues can tie into communication issues. Disagreements can arise when one person believes the other is too frugal or impulsive. Whatever the reasons, this is a prevalent relationship issue, particularly in marriages. Marriage counseling can help sort this out or at least begin the conversation.
Possible Solutions
The first step is talking about your relationship goals and how finances play into them. For example, if you plan to buy a house, do you need to buy a nice new rug first that may not match your new decor? What is your relationship with debt? Do you max out your credit cards, use debt sparingly, or follow the Dave Ramsey plan? You may need a referral to a financial planner to discuss specifics about saving, budgeting, and investing. Still, relationship counseling can help you examine and come to a compromise on your life and high-level goals. It is imperative for a committed couple to discuss and come to an understanding or acceptance regarding finances.
For Ohio couples counseling questions, please visit the main frequently asked questions page.
Cardinal Point Counseling in Dublin, Ohio, specializes in helping you discuss your financial differences, goal setting based on values, and other relationship concerns. In addition, the office is convenient to the Columbus, Ohio area.
Common Objections or Questions
The following are common objections.
That is outside my scope of practice. I would see a financial planner or other professional resources directed to this topic.
To greatly oversimplify, by creating a safe environment for communication and teaching you how to broach this subject. You are not alone in terms of fighting over money. Depending on the source, this can be the number one couple problem.
Why Choose Aaron Engel of Cardinal Point Counseling?
There is nothing wrong with getting training in one method of couples therapy. One can become a real specialist. Multiple methods may work great for some and not very well for others . Having the training and experience to integrate multiple models and tailor to your experience is my preferred approach.
Read my bio and see if I sound like a good fit. This website has a wealth of information, but you may also schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
Clients often say I have a calm manner and way about my self that makes them feel safe and puts them at ease. My background working in Corporate America doesn’t hurt either.
